I could have exploded stars
on that night. The planetary layout would be different now. Two hearts orbiting two souls in the same system, sharing minerals, light, and tidal harmony.
Instead I imploded tears, and absorbed their salt into my heart valves.
I shuttered my top floor windows, those with the greatest potential for a bright welcoming light.
I nailed them tight from the inside with scrap matter. It’s me in the corner clutching the rifle and the Macbook Pro.
All because the incremental steps we laid down exposed a contrary plan. Your little tearing tooth and nail conditioners making me feel paranoia and weakness. My slow sinking from chronic disease and a selfinduced separation from a world too unlike the one in my head making you inch away.
You. He. And I walking in. Pausing. Letting us down. Letting you off. The hook. It catching me in my flawed guts. That moment our solar system cleaved into alternative timelines. Yours, forever a distorted image behind the mirror. Mine,